It’s been a month since I bared my buddha belly and got vulnerable about my struggles with sobriety weight, so I thought a status update was in order.
I’m more curvy than I am round now, thank sweet mercy, but still have some progress to go to my ideal size and weight. The other day, as I was gauging my progress through my very scientific method of picking up my belly and dropping the fat, I realized that not only was I terrified of becoming like my aunt, but my body had become a monument to my struggles with addiction and mental health. Somewhere in my psyche, I had the misconception that if I was able to lose enough weight to get back down to my old size, that would mean I would somehow be able to salvage what was left of my old life. I had gotten to the other side. Restoration would be in the room, preferably in a size 6 (okay, 8). I was definitely trying to take the route of bypassing instead of accepting it for what it is, releasing it for what it was, and moving on with my new body. Exactly how my road of recovery has been.
As I mentioned, The Brightline Diet was my diet of choice for its focus on nervous system regulation, a.k.a. the keys to my mentally stable kingdom. I started out like any good addict: I started on the extreme end of things by tossing out all food that had ingredients with sugar and flour. Needless to say, I looked like something straight off the Chappelle Show by day 4. I decided tapering off was most likely best and started swapping out ingredients for healthier options like white rice for brown rice. I tried looking up alternatives for my favorite recipes, and the results were… horror-inducing. If I took out the ingredients that weren’t on the approved list, I would end up with maybe the protein and that’s it. But have no fear, because around here, we keep going. I kept it simple and stuck to the basics—protein, starch, and vegetables. I’ve been eating salmon, broccoli, and brown rice for about a month now (thank you neurodivergence), and I haven’t gotten sick of it, and it’s paying off! I got weighed in at a doctor’s appointment, and a single tear almost rolled down my cheek at the progress in digits. I can also walk for almost an hour without getting stitches in my side and hating my life, I haven’t seen this much growth in my yoga practice in such a short amount of time, I don’t feel heavy and exhausted after meals, and I’m starting to look more like Marilyn and less like Norma Jean.
I bought a book on the diet and intend on getting the cookbook so I can eat more than the same three meals a day eventually, but I’m also still learning more about the actual diet. In the meantime, the game plan is to start juicing, be consistent with sauna sessions, and throw in some other exercise other than yoga. Now that my diet has regulated for the most part, or at the very least, I’ve figured out its rhythm, I will challenge myself in the exercise department. I want to buy a bike and be young, wild, and free on two wheels once again, but I think I’ll just stick to walking as a form of transportation. I’ve gone back and forth on the exercise bike, but I’m a purist, and quite frankly, there’s just way too many damn people. I’m breaking out into hives just thinking about it.
I went into detail ad nauseam to showcase how I layered new habits on top of each other in order to reach my goal of a healthy weight. The BMI is a scam, so I’m going for quality of life over calorie counting because BFFR.
barefacedbaddie 